Writing – Page 11 – Ridley Park

AutoCrit Innards

September 29, 2024September 29, 2024Posted in Artificial Intelligence, AutoCrit, Ridley Park, Short Story, Software, Status Update, WritingTagged ai, AutoCrit, editing, Generative AI, Short Story, WritingLeave a comment

Writing is hard. Short stories are worse. I started Mind Without a Mirror a few days ago as a short story project. After a dozen major revisions, I got to a place to run it through AutoCrit. I’ve been using AutoCrit for a couple months, and it’s been useful as an editor before I connect with a human editor or Beta reader.

Today, I think it split its guts. I clicked on the Character tab. This is where it assesses your character traits, strengths, weaknesses, and some other aspects. As you may notice for the first character, Ada, it returns a terse response. This is usual. The second character Echo went off the chain.

Major characters including Ada and Echo provide contrasting perspectives aiding in highlighting different facets of conflict surrounding Sol’s disappearance:

1. Ada – Her impulsiveness offers tangible counterpoints but sometimes lacks depth behind motivations driving rash decisions; deeper backstory integration can enrich relational dynamics while avoiding plot holes associated with seemingly arbitrary choices leading toward unnecessary risk-taking scenarios without sufficient narrative justification.

2. Echo – As a voice urging caution yet pushing boundaries intellectually rather than physically contrasts effectively against both Ada’s impulsiveness and initially hesitant nature exhibited by Nova; further scenes emphasizing logical deductions alongside emotional intelligence contributions can elevate effectiveness within group dynamics exploring unknowns collectively ensuring smoother narrative cohesion devoid apparent gaps particularly during critical junctures necessitating unanimous decision-making processes amongst protagonists’ circle thereby mitigating potential dissonance arising from conflicting individual agendas undermining collective objectives pursuit efficiency notably during climax build-up phases preceding resolution stages inherently reliant upon concerted efforts fruition realizing overarching goals set forth early onset storyline unfolding sequence events trajectory mapping course eventualities encountered en route denouement culmination point reached conclusionary chapter segments encapsulating thematic essence distilled core message intended conveyed audience reception interpretation thereof facilitated

I shared a screenshot so you can see the random word dump. Perhaps it’s speaking in tongues. Toward the bottom of the laundry list, I see a lot of professional titles below some superlatives.

I don’t know. AI is strange. I wasn’t planning to post anything today, but I just had to share.

Quoteless Dialogue

September 23, 2024Posted in Short Story, Status Update, WritingTagged books, creative-writing, dialogue, quotation marks, quoteless, quotes, Writing, writing style, writing tipsLeave a comment

I’ve noticed a few publications adopting a quoteless or quote-free dialogue convention. I was wrestling with the idea of using it for my current short story, but I’ve opted not to.

On the upside, it can:

create a more immersive reading experience, blending dialogue seamlessly with narration.
give the prose a more streamlined, modern feel.
be effective in representing stream of consciousness or internal monologue.
subtly underscore themes of ambiguity or the blurring of reality and imagination.

On the upside, it might:

lead to confusion about what is spoken aloud versus what is thought or narrated.
be challenging for some readers, particularly those used to more traditional formatting.
not be suitable for all types of stories or narrative styles.

I feel that it’s a valid stylistic choice that can be very effective when used deliberately and consistently. Its appropriateness depends on the specific work, its themes, and its intended audience.

If used, it often requires more careful writing to ensure clarity about who is speaking and what is dialogue versus narration. It works best when the author employs other means to differentiate dialogue, such as syntax, diction, or paragraph breaks.

For my current writing project, (working title: “The Riga Paradox”), given its themes of reality versus perception and the blurring of identities, omitting quotation marks could be an interesting choice.

However, it’s also a significant departure from my comfort zone and might require adjustments in other aspects of my writing to maintain clarity.

Does anyone have thoughts for or against quote-free dialogue? Have you used it yet?

Book Review: The Blind Owl

August 18, 2024August 18, 2024Posted in Book, critique, review, Video, Writing, YouTubeTagged Book, book review, existentialism, iran, novella, Persian, philosophics, review, summary, Writing1 Comment

What, again? Didn’t you alredy post this review?

So, I decided that the review was at too high of a level, so I did a new one. Let me know if this one is better.

It turns out the new was got a bit long, so I broke it into three parts. This is the first part—a summary but with more context. The other two parts shall follow.

Translations of The Blind Owl

August 3, 2024November 2, 2025Posted in Book, critique, review, WritingTagged English, French, interpretation, language, Persian, reading, The Blind Owl, translation, Writing1 Comment

I was less than happy with my review of The Blind Owl. It’s an OK summary, but it’s at too high of a level—fifty-thousand feet as some say.

I problem is that I need to make notes as I read rather than recollect at the end. As it happens, I’ve got three English translations of the book, I don’t read Persian, and reading in French still gives me translation differences. I decided to read a different translation, and they’re a bit askew. So I picked up the third. Different, still. I’ll illustrate my point.

The book opens with a sort of prologue before the narrative begins. Each of the translations read as follows:

In this debased and wretched world, full of destitution and want, for the first time I thought that a beam of sunshine had shone upon my life—but alas, this was not a beam of sunshine, it was a flicker of light…

In this mean world of wretchedness and misery I thought that for once a ray of sunlight had broken upon my life. Alas, it was not sunlight, but a passing gleam…

I thought in this base world, full of poverty and misery, for the first time in my life, a ray of sunshine shone on my life. But alas, instead of a sunbeam it was a transient beam…

Each of these establishes the tone but in differing ways. The narrator’s world is bleak. It’s a mean world, full of wretchedness and misery; a base world, full of destitution and want; a debased and wretched world, full of destitution and want.

As the chapters progress, I can’t help but wonder what the translators have interjected and what is faithful. I’ve written about the challenge in translations is that sometimes an exact word doesn’t exist in the target language.

For example, in Camus’ L’étranger, the novel opens:

” Aujourd’hui, maman est morte. Ou peut-être hier, je ne sais pas.”

This translates to “Today, mother died. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know.” Rather, it doesn’t.

In English, we have the word ‘mother’, which is relatively formal when referring to one’s own parent. We also have the children’s term ‘mummy’ or perhaps ‘mom’, but maman falls between them. ‘Mother’ makes him feel overly rigid or formal than his character unfolds to be; ‘mummy’ would make him seem feeble or infantile, so we are left with ‘mother’.

In The Blind Owl, I have no such reference to parse the language. I am at the mercy of the translator. In the sample passages, not much meaning is lost, if any, but stylistically it reads differently. The pace feels different. I don’t know which I prefer. Anchoring has likely led me to favour the first.

Is the world bad, or does it contain bad, or both, and in what composition?

I’ll keep reading, and I hope to improve it with a more personal accounting.

The Story Coaster

July 31, 2024July 31, 2024Posted in WritingTagged humour, image, meme, WritingLeave a comment

Whether fiction or non-, every story has it’s ups and downs, its pacing changes, its drop-offs and missing pieces. And there’s always critical reaction at the end even if you don’t hear it.

Intelligence and Cognition

July 30, 2024Posted in Book, critique, Status Update, WritingTagged AutoCrit, Book, cognition, Democracy, editing, Generative AI, intelligence, structure, WritingLeave a comment

It seems that I am constantly apologising for not posting more here. Have no fear, these apologies appear on my other sites, too.

My absence here is due to another writing project I am focusing on. The competing project has a working title of “Democracy: The Grand Illusion“. It’s a work of fiction, so I am documenting it on my Philosophics blog.

Recently, I’ve been posting content related to my initial editorial process using AutoCrit.* I was planning to produce content for this site as well as YouTube using Hemo Sapiens: Awakening as the source material, but since I am currently writing this academic non-fiction piece, I figured I’d apply it there.

For me, writing fiction is different to writing non-fiction. With fiction, I have an idea, and I document a possible skeleton framework. This may (and does) change as I make progress, but it serves mainly as waymarkers to orient my original idea. In this manner, I am more of a planner than a pantser.

Once I establish this structure, I start writing exposition, and all bets are off. I do not feel restricted by this framework if my subconscious has a different idea and the characters and narrative come to life.

On the other hand, non-fiction is very planned and structures. I create chapters for continuity and flow. Then I place all sorts of section content within each chapter and record thoughts and citations.

For this book, I did most of this in 2021-22 during the tail end of the COVID debacle. I stopped and started, but this month I am re-engaging. As the skeleton and muscular systems are already in place as are many organs, I need to add the rest and flesh it out. This is how I occupy my days.

Despite the planning, nothing is cast in stone. Case in point, I had just drafted a chapter on Defining Intelligence. It included sections on.

Intelligence
IQ (as a proxy for intelligence)
Emotional Intelligence
Multiple Intelligences
Cognitive Biases

I thought I was done until I decided to add a section on Cognitive Deficits and Limitations. This inclusion prompted me to rename the chapter to Intelligence and Cognition.

I expect this book to be completed in 2024. I’ve written some 58,000 words with another 30,000 more likely. I don’t really have a target in mind—just the content I want it to cover.

I may still pop in to demonstrate AutoCrit on my published book as I feel it may be instructive.

* AutoCrit is an AI-based editorial application. I am a member of their affiliate programme, so I gain minor financial benefits at no cost to you if you purchase through a link on this page.

Write, Review, Revision

January 26, 2024Posted in review, WritingTagged books, creative-writing, editing, revising, Writing, writing-adviceLeave a comment

I lost my faith in the English language and trust in people in grade school where I was taught the 3 Rs – reading, writing, and arithmetic. On balance, these each have the R consonant sound on the stressed syllable, but it is otherwise misrepresented. Game over.

In this tradition, I’ve got my own 3 dodgy Rs: Write, Review, and Revision. This sums up my approach to writing.

Write

Duh, right? You’ve got to write to write. In fact, to be a better writer, you’ve got to be a reader, a leading-candidate for as fourth R – but I’ll call it a necessary precondition. Being exposed to reading allows you to absorb different styles and genres. It remind you that pedantic constraints of grammar need not apply. My grammar-checker reminds me often.

I took this route as a musician as well. Exposure to genres, styles, and approaches fortifies your craft. Some of the best groups contain members of diverse backgrounds. Sure, there are some groups where members are cut from the same cloth, but they are usually stuck in a particular niche. Nothing wrong with this mind you, if you don’t mind being painted into a corner. I’m too claustrophobic for this.

Review

Once you’ve written, review your work. In fact, this should be more than one representative R. Perhaps it should instead be read, write, review, review, review, review… or an alternative, read, write, review, write, review, write, review… To be honest, when I write blogs, I just write – stream of consciousness. No net, no review. Submit. Done. But this is not how I approach longer works. The longer the work, the more read-review cycles.

Hemo Sapiens: Awakening has already been published, and I would still change some things – perhaps many. It’s an art. Art is done when the creator (creatrix?) dies.

Revision

After you’ve dumped all of your thoughts onto the page, write, review, rinse, and repeat, you have to opportunity to revise your work before you release it into the wild – transplant it from your private greenhouse to watch in flourish or perish.

A revision is more than a review. It’s the opportunity to re-view, re-vision, re-imagine the work that arrived in the first pass with sequential editorial hining and rework.

Maybe you now imagine a new character or story line, a new twist, two characters can be consolidated. Perhaps even a different ending or beginning. It’s all clay. Sentences are malleable.

As a professional musician, I learned not to become married to your work. And just as your parents may not appreciate your choice in partners, your readers may not appreciate your art. And this is not important as an artist. This is only important in the commercial realm. I don’t find this realm interesting. It the reason I don’t enjoy pop music – disposable commerce. We don’t so much categorise books into pop, but we should. At least we can.

Now I’ve gone off on a rant. In a novel, I would likely delete this during an editing cleanse, but here, there is only forward.

In the end, you can just write with none of the ancillary activities – as I do here. Or you can take a different approach to harden your final output. I don’t prefer to call it a product.

You may not even opt for revisioning because you had it all in your head. You just needed to rush to capture it all on the page – 700 pages times 7 volumes. You’re the lucky type. That’s not my style, so I’ve not much to say on the matter.

My parting words – just write.

White Rooms and Inventory Lists

January 23, 2024January 23, 2024Posted in Ridley Park, WritingTagged bollox, breaking bad, Chevok's gun, description, disney, dorian gray, emo, inventory, lavender, lilac, lists, oscar wilde, perspective, rachel zegler, snow white, sofas, vampire, walter white, white rooms, WritingLeave a comment

I’m a writer, but not without challenges. Some writers have Writer’s Block™ and others don’t seem to understand grammar or structure. Me? I’m easily bored of details – simply don’t care. Here’s the rub.

When I read/hear writing advice, it recommends not to leave your reader in a white room – and certainly not in many white rooms, rooms with no detail to anchor the reader, just free-floating characters. The cure to white rooms is not an inventory list.

She entered the room with him. There was a table, two chairs, a lamp, and a pelican.

This does little to obviate the empty room.

True Confession: I don’t care what’s in the room – save for Chekhov’s Gun. I don’t know who’s familiar with Gary Larson’s comic with the dog, Ginger.

When I read description, it quickly turns into blah, blah, blah, blah, and my brain fast-forwards. One of the most egregious examples is the literary classic, Dorian Gray. At some point, Oscar Wilde paints the image of Dorian’s parlour – to a fault. I mean, I’m pretty sure he gets down to the details of fabric choices and thread counts. I may have gone on for three pages or three paragraphs or three sentences. In any case. I lost track when my eyes glazed over.

The stated purpose of description is to immerse your reader into your built world. I get it. What I want is for the description to be key to the plot or the character – or at least be metaphorical. Don’t get me wrong, some description is good and necessary:

She wears black because she’s sullen or edgy.

He has a scar on his face under his left heterochromatic eye because of that fateful accident.

Chekhov’s gun on the wall will be used to kill the marauding jungle bear.

Sorry. Otherwise, I just don’t care. Of course, it might be important in another way. Using a topical example, Snow White is named as such because of her pale white skin, like an Emo vampire chick. This is why Disney’s reboot with Rachel Zegler makes no sense – of course, they try to argue that the White is because of her purity. They never do explain her connexion to Walter White.

And perhaps it conveys an atmosphere, a mood, or a terrain, But how much does it take to do so? It’s raining, she’s pouting, steep mountains and foul faeries. What else do I need to know?

To be fair, I know this is just me. Other people do want to get immersed and lost in the world. Perhaps I’m coming from my place as a musician. I want the readers to interpret the book and make it fit themselves. If I create Snow White, the reader who’s not a pale white female can grasp and even enjoy the story, but she can’t as easily be Snow White. I feel that this might have led Michael Jackson down the wrong path in his day.

A character may be imposing, but does he need to be specifically 6’5″ and have blond hair like Jack Reacher? Does she have to be a size zero? Just saying…

So what’s your take on this? Is it important that the splendid floral pattern and lilacs and lavender adorn the plush Regency sofa made of 600-count silk Egyptian thread? Let me know in the comments.

Hemingway App

January 17, 2024January 17, 2024Posted in Artificial Intelligence, Book, Generative AI, Hemo Sapiens, Hemo Sapiens: Origins, Origins, WritingTagged advice, ai, editing, Generative AI, hemo sapiens, novel, WritingLeave a comment

I watched a YouTube video that referenced Hemingway App as an authors’ tool. Here, I pasted some sample content from Hemo Sapiens: Origins to see what it might suggest.

It’s a short passage, but the only things it found were trivial nits.

Highlighted, the complaint is that the top sentence (in yellow) is too complex, so I should break it up as shown in green. The only difference is that it swapped the semicolon with a full stop and capitalised the next letter to begin the next sentence. It also declared the Grade 11 writing sample to be reduced to Grade 6.

Is this really worth more than the free trial or the time and effort?

It highlighted two other related challenges: both adverbs, and neither with remediation advice. In the sceen shot, you can read ‘slightly crispy’. Honestly, I don’t have a more direct way to show this information. I suppose if it was ‘crispy’, I could specify a ‘crunch’ sound. But how is the crispy crunch diminished when it’s just ‘slightly’? Enquiring minds want to know.

Barely Audible

January 15, 2024January 13, 2024Posted in Art, Artificial Intelligence, Audible, Audiobook, Awakening, Book, Cover Art, ElevenLabs, Generative AI, Hemo Sapiens, Hemo Sapiens: Awakening, Status Update, WritingTagged ai, Amazon, Audible, Audiobook, ElevenLabs, Generative AI, hemo sapiens, novel, rejected, WritingLeave a comment

So this happened. I submitted Hemo Sapiens: Awakening as an audiobook, and it was rejected. The site says that they’ll let me know why in a couple days. My question is: if you rejected it, don’t you immediately know why?

I think I know why, but I can’t ‘fix’ the problem if I don’t know what it is. I don’t want to act on an assumption.

I believe they’ll inform me that I can’t use AI-generated narration. This would be odd because they have a programme in Beta where they provide the service of automatically converting the text of a book to audio. To be honest, it doesn’t sound amazing. It appears that they are using their own Amazon Polly, which I like, but you need to babysit it hard. It is very unlikely to sound good without heavy hand-holding. As it is, I hand-held my ElevenLabs AI to make the outcome sound like a professional human.

Audible offers some voiceover actors, but I didn’t like any of them, and they couldn’t compete with my ElevenLabs voice. I can understand that they don’t want to sell audiobooks that sound like Stephen Hawking, but theirs sound closer to him than mine.

On another note, I had to render and upload square cover art. There was a stated restriction disallowing padding a rectangular cover image with space or colour to make it square. I followed this rule, but this is exactly what they do. They take the cover of the book you’re selling through Amazon, and they pad the left and right margins with filler colour. I may append the rationale they provide once I’ve received it. Until them, my audiobook is on hold.