Author
I’ve completed my second draft of my next novelette (or long short story), and I decided to visualise it as a word cloud just because.
What I am really after are words I might tend to overuse. I’m not so worried about character names, like Ravi and Henry (or Maggie, Finn, Tom, Daisy, Jasmine, or Jones). The only thing that jumps out at me is ‘just’, so I just might have to check that out in pass three.
I’m editing my latest work with Claude and ChatGPT. Both are insufferable, but I’ll start with Claude. Anthropic seems to have throttled me down to 5 inquiries per four-hour block. To make matters worse, I waste inquiries when Claude fails to follow instructions.
I’ve made some amends and am sharing them here. Let’s focus on Chapter 3 with an eye on reviewing this content to ensure it conforms to a third-person, limited, present, deep point of view. Remember that we are revising not creating content.
Ridley Park
That last bit of the quote was aimed at ChatGPT, but I’ll get to that presently. As you can read, I am working on tightening up Chapter 3. Occasionally, I slip into first-person or lose the close POV, so I rely on Claude to be my second set of eyes and keep me honest.
Having submitted these instructions, Claude feeds me back a section of Chapter 3 converted to first-person. That counts as a query—four to go in the next four hours. Not very efficient.
These suggestions are in first person. Can we try again in third person?
Ridley Park
You’re absolutely right, my suggestions slipped into first person POV instead of maintaining third person limited. Here is another pass at potential Chapter 3 revisions with a consistent third person close POV:
Claude 2
So, Claude spits out 7 paragraphs with advice. Some of these are unchanged. Plus, I had asked for the whole chapter, so that’s two queries with 3 remaining. I instruct Claude to continue.
Eight more paragraphs. Two queries remain. Perhaps, if I’m more direct.
Continue through the end of chapter 3 and on to chapter 4
Ridley Park
Another eight paragraphs, and one query to go. Here it is:
Let’s finish Chapter 4 and continue through chapter 5.
Ridley Park
Nine paragraphs this time. The story is only five chapters—about seven-thousand words, but this review pass of the first draft will have to wait another four hours before Claude will work with me again.
ChatGPT 4 gives me fifty prompts every three hours. Sure, it costs me 20 a month where Claude is free. I’d pay for Claude to be more forthcoming, but that’s not even an option yet, and so I wait.
ChatGPT is horrendous at following instructions. As evidenced in the first quote on this page, I have to instruct ChatGPT not to write, not to produce prose. It’s frustrating.
You are reviewing this content and to ensure it conforms to a third-person, limited, present, deep point of view. Remember that we are revising not creating content.
Ridley Park
It’s gotten to the point that I have to preface each prompt with the query above. Even when I do, it occasionally spews out it’s ideas, as if to protest, “I’m a writer, dammit, not just an editor. I’ve got ambitions.”
“I’m a writer, dammit, not just an editor. I’ve got ambitions.”
In one instance, it altered my dialogue. I’ve got to watch it like a hawk. It’s a conversation between two renowned professors, one senior to the other, and it informs me,
Your original text for 2.2.9 already closely aligns with the guidelines of a third-person, limited, deep point of view. I’ve added a bit more casual tone and street slang to better match your style. The revision maintains the atmosphere and deepens the sense of intensity between the characters.
OpenAI ChatGPT 4
I don’t want to share any spoilers, but I had to ask ChatGPT to dial it back and remind it of the characters in play here.
Next thing I know, ChatGPT is again spewing out prose and adding characters into the mix. I am not even sure I could find threads back into the story. It’s as if ChatGPT just threw in the towel saying, “Fine, I’ll work on my own story then. Let’s see who has the last laugh.”
“AI will not be taking over the world soon,” is my new catchphrase. So far to go.
The Hemo Sapiens project has had my mind and fingers pretty occupied lately. I am a structured thinker, so I need to understand a lot of minutiae as I world-build. One aspect of this world are the inhabitants. As the setting is modern-day earth and the near future, much of this is established and can be left unsaid, but newly introduced characters need some definition, boundaries, and rules. Here, I explore this.
At the highest level, we have genetically engineered embryos that have been cloned in versions, as outlined below: alpha, beta, gamma, and so on. Each successive version has improvements over the previous version.
The first, alpha, version are substantially similar to humans, save for being sanguivorous or rather macro erythrophages or hemophages, to borrow some near terms. Not being, obligatory hematophagous, they only require blood as ancillary nutritional intake.
Hemo sapiens extract blood through their hollow fangs. The blood is processed an metabolised by an special internal organ.
In the accompanying podcast audio recording, I provide addition behind-the-scenes editorialising. This complements the content below. So check it out.
The alpha versions of hemo sapiens arrived in 2022 (31 October 2022); They are wholly like humans except they have hollow fangs to extract blood and a specialised internal organ. Without a viable blood source, hemo sapiens exhibit symptoms similar to severe anaemia.
As per my last post, I’ve spent the morning world building with Claude 2, my trusted generative AI mate–and I’ve got a ways to go. Any fictional world needs boundaries and constraints. What are ethe rules of operation?
My initial story is set in the near future, so I had to pick an origin date and extrapolate in order to determine a likely population for the story. Like anything that propagates, hemo sapiens need to have some concept of a generation. The rest is maths. What’s the attrition and net survival rate, population rate, and so on. As I’ve noted previously, Claude 2* and ChatGPT 4* are both horrendous at maths, so I was not surprised that it failed so miserably. Here’s a quote from Claude:
Having the scientist start at 28 in 2012 would put him at 42 for the Gen-Zero birth in 2022.
Claude 2
That’s right, adding 10 years to a 28-year-old in 2012 makes him 42 in 2022.
I’ll share more of the world I am constructing after I hit the spreadsheets or Mathematica. It may not be great at world-building, but it knows how to add 10 to 28.
* I cite the versions in case future versions perform maths skills better.
Now I’ve really done it. Distracted myself to no end. No wonder I can’t seem to finish anything lately. My recent foray into Hemo sapiens or Homo sapiens sanginius was only supposed to be a quick diversion to clear my mind. Instead, it’s got me thinking about an entire universe from origin to however-so-many scenarios.
Now I am pondering whether to write some loosely connected short stories or assemble a larger work, like a novel or series. Why not all of the above?
The challenge is that I am more curious than passionate about this, and I’ve got only a fleeting interest. Perhaps. I am no stranger to speculative fiction, but world building is not up my street. And urban fantasy, to the extent that this might be urban fantasy, is not a favoured genre. I’m looking at you, Twilight.
I may simply noodle this for now until I suss out something. Meantime, I may be sharing my thoughts and output here. Please stand by…
I’m new to writing short stories, but I am an experimental writer always up to a challenge. Here are the opening paragraphs of Homo Sapiens Sanguinius, a phrase I might spell differently each time I type it. The setting is near-future Brighton.
“We’re not vampires,” I spit out, locking eyes with Ray as he scrubs down the bar. The pub’s shoddy lights throw dodgy shadows all over. Smells like a mix of skint dreams and last night’s piss-ups.
Ray sets down another pint, glass tilting in practiced hands. “You alright, Eddie? You look knackered.”
“Am I bloody alright? I’m gutted, mate.” He slides the pint toward me—amber nectar topped with froth. A quick fix, but who’s fooling who?
The telly flicks from some wanker politician to the news. Dr. Sarah Wright’s name crawls across the screen. “Dozens more dead.” My stomach churns.
“Bollocks,” I mutter, necking half the pint. It’s all gone tits up, and what’s everyone doing? Gawping at footie like we’re some sort of joke.
I drain the last of my pint, eyeing the telly again. “Fuckin’ useless, all of ’em,” I grumble, my finger stabbing at the air toward the talking heads. They’re just prattling on, ignoring the shitstorm brewing.
Ray catches my drift, his eyes narrowing. “You reckon they’ll sort it?”
“Sort it? Mate, they’re more clueless than a sodding chav at a wine tasting.” I toss some coins on the counter, enough to settle the tab. “I’m off. This place is doing my head in.”
“Take care, Eddie. And watch your back, yeah?” Ray calls out as I turn to leave.
I push through the door, the pub’s clamour fading behind me. Fresh air hits my face like a wake-up slap. Only it ain’t waking me up from this nightmare.
Just then, I bump into some bloke. “Oi! Watch it, wanker,” he snarls.
“I’ve got bigger fish to fry than dealing with tossers like you,” I snap back, shoving past him.
As I stomp down the pavement, each step heavy with dread and resentment, I can’t shake off the thought: we’re on our own in this mess, no cavalry coming for us. And that thought? It’s bloody terrifying.
Disclaimer: This content relates to a work in progress. As such, details are subject to change or removal.
I thought that I was onto something when I was diverting my attention with a new short story. This story is set in (relatively) near-future Brighton where an emergent species coexist alongside us homo sapiens sapiens. Borrowing from the existing taxonomy, I decided to try homo sapiens sanguinius, bloodsucking, thinking man.
In this story, these people experience a pandemic due to a government experiment gone awry. Any similarities to Covid-19 is purely coincidental. And I’ve got a bridge for sale.
These people are known idiomatically as hemo sapiens and pejoratively as vampires. They are like humans in all ways except they also need to drink blood through their fangs, their only outwardly distinguishing feature. No other vampire lore need apply. Being a new species, mating is iffy, but I won’t address that anyway. It’s supposed to be a short story.
Myself, I am not into vampire stories or urban fantasy, yet here I go–and I’m not sure where it will go. I’m not sure I think in short story. Lots of reductive editing. Time will tell.
If you’ve got any comments to share on hemo sapiens or writing short stories, feel free to leave them below.
In Everlasting Cocksucker, the protagonist, Mallory, has an affinity for the tarot. I’ve also decided to not only make this a meta-theme and motif, but I am also basing (most of) each chapter on a card. Here is how the chapters are currently constructed:
Here’s the chapter flow with tarot themes along with summaries:
1. Every Addict Has a Story
2. In the Beginning…
3. Ace of Wands – Feeding the Flame
4. Three of Cups – Kindred Spirits
5. Queen of Swords – Sceptic Sister
6. The Tower – Crumbling Foundations
7. Four of Pentacles – Tightly Guarded
8. The High Priestess – Hidden Truths
9. Seven of Swords – Ominous Whispers
10. Five of Swords – Desperate Measures
11. Six of Cups – Kindred Spirits
12. The Magician – Anomaly Awakened
13. Two of Swords – Impossible Choice
14. Five of Wands – Confronting the Past
15. The Moon – Revelations in the Dark
16. Judgement – Facing the Music
17. The Hierophant – Seeking Wisdom
18. Temperance – Finding Balance
The alignment with tarot provides a rich, thematic framework for exploring the protagonist’s journey through addiction, self-discovery, and transformation. Each chapter’s corresponding tarot card adds layers of symbolic meaning, allowing for a multifaceted narrative that delves into complex emotional and moral themes.
I expect to provide more context to the meaning of the tarot cards in future posts.
Disclaimer: This content relates to a work in progress. As such, details are subject to change or removal.
In order to partner better with Generative AI, in this case ChatGPT, I break my chapters into story beats, which are essentially waypoints to which I can return to refine. These waypoints also allow me to create an amendable outline. This is an analysis of the third story beat (read: topic) of chapter three.
Back in the day, I used to write software code with line numbers—showing my age for sure. This reminds me of something similar, if not so granular.
I thought it would be a good idea to share ChatGPT 4’s analysis of this in its current state. As I noted recently, I am reworking the piece from a third-person perspective to first-person, limited, present narrative.
In summary, 3.10.0 is a well-crafted snapshot of a dark and complicated life. It effectively uses language, pacing, and structure to immerse the reader in a world that is both urgent and disconnected. The inclusion of text messages as a narrative device adds a layer of realism and urgency that enhances the overall impact of the segment.
OpenAI ChatGPT 4
I hope this helps to illustrate how ChatGPT can assist in the writing and editorial process. To be frank, ChatGPT tends to flatter. I suppose it errs on the positive so as not to discourage use. I may be wrong here.
I intend to continue to share my progress (and hopefully not too much regress here), so this may serve as a sort of journal. As Roland Barthes said,
“The author is dead.”
— Roland Barthes
But for now, this author still lives, and hopeful, I remain.
Disclaimer: This content relates to a work in progress. As such, details are subject to change or removal.
Let’s discuss Aiden. This character is part of Mallory’s backstory, who she confronts in this narrative. Aiden was a former love interest. In fact, he is the presumed transmission vector for Mallory’s malady.
As the story goes, Aiden and Mallory met in a college philosophy class and became an item. They entered a long-term relationship that ended with the incident that left Mallory afflicted, which left them estranged.
Whether Aiden was the vector remains to be seen. In any case, his being a vector only kicks the can down the curb, leaving open the question of how he might have become infected. Aiden was asymptomatic at the time and has no signs that he could infect another.
I won’t go on with Aiden as I don’t wish to spoil the rest of his character story.
We still don’t know whether Mallory is infectious or if there are others with the same affliction, and we’ll have to wait to discover how this plays out.
Disclaimer: This content relates to a work in progress. As such, details are subject to change or removal.
Ridley Park 